John 16:33

Our nation is in chaos. Again.

But before I get to that, a private word to my friends, the ones whose house was vandalized last night:

Friends, don't read this. Not now. Please know that I love you. I've been thinking about you and our nation and this insanity all day. I've prayed for you and I've cried for you. But please don't read this... yet. It is too soon. The wounds are too fresh. They are too raw. It's not time for what I have here. There will be a time, after you have mourned and processed this violation and come to grips with your new reality. Then, I hope to hear from you and to know if my thoughts are even close. But for now, mourn. For now, grieve. For now, know that you are loved and prayed for. For now, process these events in the light of love. And for now, stop reading.

Our nation is in chaos. Again.

Last night before going to bed, I read a Facebook post claiming to be from a black man who was calling others to join him in moving the riots from the cities to the suburbs. I knew immediately that the source of this post was untrustworthy, but it didn't stop a glimmer of fear from creeping in. And it didn't stop me from praying, "Haven't we had enough..."

See, like you, I live in a town that has been economically depressed by Covid-19. But our town also just experienced its worse "natural" disaster ever. I say natural in quotes, because our flood was the result of 2 failed dams and not heavy rains or hurricanes. Just the same, flooded we were and with devastating effect. Homes are gone. Families are displaced. The entire downtown of the neighboring community was completely demolished. And so I prayed, "Lord, don't let it come here. Not now; we've had enough."

But it came. 

This morning I awoke to the news that a small amount of vandalism occurred last night. A few slashed tires, a couple of broken windows. Nothing on the scale of some of the cities across the country, but one of those homes belonged to some close friends. They were innocent in this. They are allies. They love people. They set a good example. They are pillars within our community. But they were struck.

Like so many others have expressed, my first reaction was, "This is not the way to change our country." I was grieved. I was upset. And I was scared that my family might be next.

And then I realized...

That's the point.

For the first time, I had a taste of what it must be like to see your brothers and fathers and sons executed for no other reason than they had the audacity to look the way they look and to be in the place they are at.

And in that moment, I understood.

I still am a pacifist. 

I still hold firmly to the old preacher's sermon, "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

I still believe that every person, without exception, is a person of value. And that we are more alike than we are different. 

I still cling to the idea that we all have a few basic needs, like the need to be loved, accepted, and respected.

And I still want the madness to end.

But now I understand.

One small taste was enough. I cannot imagine living my whole life with that kind of fear hanging over me. And so, while I grieve for my friends, I also grieve for the one who threw the rock into their living room. And while I pray that my friends to be comforted and might feel safe again, I also pray that we might see a day when "all human beings [are] respected as such, regardless of their color."

Cheerful Giver

I remember watching a movie about the life of Abraham shortly after I became a Christian.  I seem to recall a scene in the movie where Abraham teaches his young son, Isaac, that we must be willing to give our very best to God.  He instructs his son to go out into their flock and find his favorite lamb.  The two then go together and sacrifice the lamb.  The scene (of course) is not one that is recorded in scripture, but is instead a little bit of creative licensing for the purpose of foreshadowing Abraham's offering of his own son Isaac on the alter (Genesis 22).

I was reminded of this today while reading and realized how short I fall, not only of God's standards, but also of the example that Godly men like Abraham have set for me...  Let me explain.

This week we just purchased a new car, well, a car new to us.  We bought a 2004 Yukon. So far, we are very happy with it.  However, the process to buy the vehicle was a long one during which we had to make several trips around the state to look a vehicles that we thought might be good enough, while still being cheap enough.  It was a long and tiring process that was often filled with conversations that went something like this:

     Me- "What would you buy if we could just go and pick out any car we wanted?"

     Jennifer- "I don't know, but it would be brand new!"

     Me- "It would be nice to drive off the lot with a car that has less than 50 miles on it!"

     Jennifer- "And to get the exact color we want."

Anyway, you get the idea...

Add to this our family members talking about their "wonderful" car buying experiences, and our colleagues driving vehicles that cost over $50K, and our friends taking vacations in the Caribbean, and etc, etc. and eventually we ask ourselves, why can't we do that? We should have enough money to do that. How can they afford to do that? Ultimately we end up realizing that we are trying to manage our money based on God's principles, and these other people are managing their money based on the American dream...  It left me feeling less than "cheerful" when we gave our tithe check this week.

This morning, as I sleepily did my devotionals, it occurred to me that I have a similar (i.e. grumbling) attitude when it comes to my time. I regularly complain that I don't have enough time to do the things I want to do, or some of the things I need to do. The reason why, I "give" a portion of each day to God by doing a morning devotion, and I give a portion of each week by trying (in a very pathetic sort of way) to keep the Sabbath. 

Bottom line is this - By His Spirit, God has shown me that time and money are things that are more important to me than I realized. I believe that God is pleased that I have not withheld these things from Him. However, I think that He is saddened that I have chosen to give these with a grumbling spirit.

Lord, please forgive my reluctant and grumbling attitude. You have blessed me in wonderful ways; help me to be a good steward with those blessings, and to do so cheerfully.  Your generosity and loving -kindness should be more than enough to keep me cheerful.  When I feel jealous that the world does not give back to you in the same measure that you have called me to give, let that be a reminder of all that You have given me, and the blessings that come from obedience.

Great hymns of the faith

I love the following hymn by Charles Wesley.  However, it's actually very odd for me to say that.  See, I don't recall ever hearing or singing this song.  Also, I can't read music.  Basically, I have no idea what it would sound like if a choir were to lift up this hymn in a service.  However, I have read it many times.  I read it the way I would imagine it if it had been written as a poem.  The message is a beautiful reminder of my past failings and Christ's great mercies.  It rarely fails to draw an emotional response; I hope you enjoy it.

Depth of Mercy  ~ lyrics by Charles Wesley 1740

Depth of mercy!
Can there be
Mercy still reserved for me?
Can my God
His wrath forbear?
Me, the chief of sinners, spare?
I have long withstood his grace,
Long provoked him to his face,
Would not harken to his calls,
Grieved him by a thousand falls.
I my master have denied.
I afresh have crucified.
Oft profaned his hallowed name,
Put him to an open shame.
There for me the Savior stands.
Shows his wounds, and spreads his hands.
GOD IS LOVE!
I know.
I feel.
Jesus weeps and loves me still.
Now incline me to repent.
Let me now my sins lament.
Now my foul revolt deplore,
Weep.
Believe.
And sin no more.

Heaven and Hell

"All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or the other of these destinations."
~C.S. Lewis

Handouts

"When David's men came to Nabal and asked him for food as compensation for their protection of his flocks, he answered, 'Why should I give my hard-earned money to who-knows-who? Lots of people are pretending to be something they are not just to get handouts - Now go away!'" (my own paraphrase from 1 Sam 25:10-11).

David and his men had been protecting Nabal's shepherds and their flocks. When David sent men to collect some compensation for this protection, Nabal insulted them and sent them away. Now, I am assuming that in David's culture, this type of service must have been common place, because all the parties involved (except for Nabal) saw the dismissal as evil. However, his reasoning seems legitimate to me, and I think it carries over into our culture. How many times have I heard others (or more importantly, how many times have I said myself) that I don't like to give handouts to the poor and the homeless who beg because I don't know if their need is real, or how they plan to spend the money. In essence, the same reasoning offered by Nabal.

Why did God see Nabal's response as evil? Was he lying when he claimed not to know David, or his men? Did his shepherds not report the kindness to their master? Was he displaying his greed with his lack of generosity? Whatever it was, he died as a result of his sin.

What does the story of Nabal mean for me, in our generation, and in our society. Certainly we have all kinds of people asking for donations; everything from homeless individualizes to international organizations. I don't think there is any doubt that some of these are not truly in need, and even among those who are in need, some intend to use the money for unholy purposes. While I do not believe that God would have us hand over our "hard-earned" income to anyone who comes asking, I do think there is a lesson for us in the story of Nabal.

Did Jesus not confirm the Old Testament scriptures when he told the parable of the servants who were sorted. We, as followers of Jehovah, are commanded to give to help the needy. Maybe it is time for me to begin giving, that God may judge the person who benefits from the gift, and not judge me.